Do you like makeup? I didn't always, but I do now. I used to misunderstand it. I only saw the bad aspects (women wear it to hide their natural faces, it's a mask to create beauty instead of reveal beauty, it emphasizes that women aren't beautiful without it...). As much as I wanted to be pretty, I refused to buy into the hype to a negative extreme.
I wasn't allowed to use makeup until I was at least thirteen years old. By that time, I had come to understand that makeup wasn't what made a girl pretty. And, honestly, as it was brand new territory, I was satisfied enough with my face (more on that another time), and I didn't want to work hard to learn the techniques, I didn't start to actually use makeup until late into my teens.
Sure, I'd play with it from time to time, but it wasn't until I got to college (and, I admit, several years into college) that I would use even mascara on a regular basis.
See, my problem is perhaps the opposite of many, and it's also two-sided.
As I understood it, many girls and women wear makeup in order to be seen as beautiful. They put a lot of work into it because without it they don't think their faces are pleasant to look at. With me, I saw a couple things about my face that I liked (I've always liked my eye color) but I didn't understand that, when used well, makeup can be a means of enhancing one's existing beauty. I had a cynical view that it was a mask slapped on in order to have a facade of what's theoretically pretty, as dictated by cosmetic makers and Hollywood's bottom line. I understood the idea perpetuated about makeup to be "you're only beautiful if you wear our products and look like a magazine cover girl." Though I didn't think myself particularly pretty, I refused to believe the message that I needed makeup in order to be attractive or worthy.
So, side one of my problem, I wouldn't believe "makeup = pretty face" (and conversely wouldn't believe "no makeup = not pretty"), which led to an avoidance of the product instead of thinking it through.
The second part of my makeup issues (aside from sheer laziness and lack of skill applying it) involved, once again, my fear to be perceived as beautiful. There is power in beauty, and not showing it is safer both for myself and for those around me. It took years of friendship to a girl who liked to play with makeup for fun and a couple of conversations on the topic for my thinking to shift to a healthier state. Yes, sometimes it can be fun to go over-the-top with makeup and play with color (something I still have a hard time actually doing...I'm not very bold). But my friend understood that makeup didn't have to be a mask, and could highlight the natural beauty (akin, if you will, to a dress style that flatters your body type).
So, side two of my problem, while makeup can reveal beauty, I would rather be seen as less pretty.
I still don't wear makeup all the time. But now I like to use it a little more to show off my blue eyes by making my eyelashes stand out more. Or I can highlight my cheekbones (which I now like) and happy flush with a touch of added color (have you found an inexpensive blush that doesn't have sparkles in it?). My lips...well, I think I was born with red lips or something. I'm still pretty happy with just chapstick or a hydrating gloss or something like that. I don't usually seek out added color on my lips (unless I'd like them to be more pink than red, in which case, I usually can't get that anyway, so yeah) because then I'd look clownish.
But basically, once again because of my growing understanding of how God made me and who He made me to be, I am okay with finding a balance between makeup and no makeup, and I'm realizing that with or without it, I am pretty. It just depends on how I feel like expressing my best (or good) (like different styles of clothing, no?). I can look my best with makeup. I can also look my best without it.
After all, if I reflect the beautiful Most High, how can I go wrong as long as I don't seek to mar His image? (I need to not fear what He has given me. I'm always beautiful, whether I believe it or not, because that's how my Father made me.)
Makeup doesn't make a woman's beauty, but it's okay if she wants to enjoy it as a gift from God to His daughters.
Have you had difficulties with motivations for wearing or avoiding makeup? Where has your path taken you so far? Do you think you need makeup in order to be beautiful?
"It just depends on how I feel like expressing my best (or good) (like different styles of clothing, no?). I can look my best with makeup. I can also look my best without it."
ReplyDeleteI like this part best. It is (should be?) very much like clothing -- just depends on your style, the day, the occasion, etc.
I personally do not wear makeup for several reason. When I was 16, my mom decided it was finally time to go to the mall, get a "makeover", and buy me some makeup (even though I didn't want to). I tried wearing it to school a couple days, but I found it just took up time I didn't have in the morning (mostly, I'm sure, because I wasn't used to applying it), but more importantly, I found myself looking in mirrors A LOT more with makeup on (gotta make sure that eye liner isn't clumping up or smudging!). I didn't like that. I also feel like it's not the best use of my time and money (and there's the laziness). There's also the issue of what is in the makeup -- manufacturers do not have to disclose the ingredients of their products on the packaging. I avoid unnecessary chemicals in most other areas of my life, so this would mean I would need to buy mineral makeup (even more money!).
However! I love seeing creative makeup on people! I mean, it can be quite the art form! One of my favorites? Roller derby girls! And I usually take any possible opportunity to use copious amounts of glitter makeup when dressing up in costume. :-)
Anyway... Good thoughts!
Thanks so much for sharing, Jessie! I'm glad you liked it and I'm glad I said something useful.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted to go to the mall for a "makeover" because I thought it would be fun. I was simultaneously afraid of and curious about looking vastly different from...me. I was also just curious to see what a practiced hand could do on my face, but I never went.
When I tried out makeup early on I was more self conscious than usual because I was afraid of 1)my makeup drawing more attention to me (friendly or not so friendly) and 2)the maintenance involved (I had it in my head that clumping and smudging--or any imperfection--needed fixed or removed entirely). So, that was just too much work when I was a young teen. Now, I still struggle against the imperfection impulse and try to keep it low key so I can be fast and not smudgy. I do like mascara and eyeliner sometimes because I like to make my eyes stand out more. Other times, I like being able to rub my eyes without worrying about, you know, imperfect smudges. There were a few nights I stayed up, embarrassed to be practicing and experimenting with my various cosmetics. I spent a few late nights trying to get off some of the more stubborn eye liners.
The one time I remember trying creative makeup, I dressed as a scarecrow and put lipstick on my nose to make it red (true to my low-key makeup nature, I did not have any bold enough blushes to do the job). My nose started breaking out the next day. Oops.
So, did you ever struggle with thinking you needed makeup in order to be pretty or were you spared that? And I'm curious why glitter makeup. What kind and why glittery?
No, I never really thought that I needed makeup to be pretty. My mom was really good about keeping hers low key and sparing me those kind of comments. I think in high school, part of it was definitely a "don't look at me!" vibe -- I didn't really want to deal with attention of any kind! I felt like the outsider and less-than, so I thought it would be fruitless to even try to be cool or pretty. (Because if you try and fail, you look stupid. If you don't even try, you're spared the embarrassment, and you can pretend like you just don't care.)
ReplyDeleteWhoa, there's some psychology for ya! And the glitter -- I don't know; I just like glitter! Doesn't really seem like me, does it? :-) The crazier, the better. My usual philosophy is if you're gonna do the makeup or the hair dye or the nail polish, it should be crazy enough to make it obvious that you're not unhappy with the way God made you. So, for instance, bright red streaks in my hair would be awesome; dyeing the gray out of my hair would be like wishing I didn't have gray hairs. Dreadlocks yes; perm no. Giant glitter eye shadow yes; eyelash curler no. Again, that's just me.
I'm glad you were spared thinking you needed makeup to be pretty. And, yeah, not trying to look cool can save some hurt feelings. That was my tactic for many years, but I had to learn (and am still learning) that I have to be honest, though, and it's okay to want to look pretty or cool. It's also okay to go crazy and silly (have you seen that picture of me wearing butterfly shades?). And it's okay if not everyone thinks you're pretty. They can be wrong. :)
ReplyDeleteGlitter, It's your deep dark secret. ;)
I've often thought that about women dying their hair back to their "younger" color, and it would make me sad, but I guess I hadn't quite applied the same thought to makeup or nail polish (less so with nail polish than makeup). It's an interesting take. Oh, but sometimes eyelash curlers are self-defense. :)
This is great! Thanks so much for chiming in, Jessie!