Why does it bother me so much to have papers with marks on them? Papers I've turned in for class that come back with corrections and a grade.
I keep getting frustrated when I get my papers for English class back. Today, I finally wondered why.
I think it's because writing is kinda dear to me. Yes, I do hope to publish a novel (or two) some day, whether it's the "Great American Novel" or not, just as long as it's published. I enjoy writing; I get comfortable in front of my laptop and write fiction for my own enjoyment. I'm not grading it. It doesn't have to be fantabulous. It makes me happy. It makes me happy just to be writing it. I can let my creative juices flow, in my personal, unjudged by people, myself time.
So, why would that effect getting papers graded for class? Perhaps because the grade, the marks of correction mean my writing is not acceptable. It is imperfect. It is being judged, not mearly enjoyed. It's not supportive marks, just marks. Not marks made by a best friend who is honest with the mistakes but genuinly wants the best I can do and shows me which direction to go. The hardest part may be when I cannot see a reason for some of the marks. They are just there, and I believe the correction marks are wrong. That is extremely frustrating. Especially when it happens every paper. Every paper I think there is at least one mark that is incorrect and, therefore, should not count against me.
Should I let it bother me so much? Most likely no. The theory behind the class is to learn and improve my writing. It doesn't much feel like that's happening, but perhaps it is. Perhaps it is.
