Or just moody?
I don't know, but even though it's only the second week of school, I just seem to be in a funk. Again. Like the funk I reach after 10-12 weeks of school.
Can I blame it on the weather? (I don't think so.) My school load? Maybe it's a contributor, but the main reason? Ehh. Could it be a cumulative effect hanging around from last semester? That this semester seems more like a continuation from the previous one, and the break in between wasn't enough (or I didn't use it properly)? Possibly. It could also be that I just have a lot to do and a lot that's going on right now; even more than I'm used to from lately. Maybe. I think a large part of it is, as always, a lack of connection. The weird part is I actually have more connection to people from church, both on Sundays and on other days, than I had before.
Do I just have a bad attitude about going to school? Is it really that depressing that I don't have friends in my classes? That I don't see the friends I have when I'm on campus?
I have more questions than I do answers. It just seems that things aren't right, whatever the problem really is, or I'm just way too picky.
Life isn't that bad. I know it's not. Every morning, I wake up, the sky is beautiful, God is on His throne, and the day's work awaits me. I have family, I have friends, I have tasks, and I have breaks. That's not bad. So, maybe this is just an artificial, temporary sadness that has no basis.
I don't know. I just wanted to write this out, my thoughts, my feelings, my worries. Here is where I chose to write it (don't ask me why). But it still amazes me how I can start to feel better, even before this is posted, just by putting my thoughts into the written word instead of only bouncing around inside my head. Maybe it relieves the pressure from inside my brain. After all, I'm filling it up at school, right? It might just get to the point that it has too much inside it at a given time.
I need the Gospel. I need to hear it. I need to read it. I need to proclaim it. It's not a magical chant that makes me feel better, but it is the Good News of life. A written testimony that Christ loves His church, enough not only to die for her, but to raise again and conquer death and sin. And to think that He chose me to be a part of the church, His bride. You think about that. I hope it amazes you and comforts you as it does me. Brothers and sisters, we need to hear the gospel each and every day! We need to tell ourselves the good news! We need to uplift our Christian family by reminding them of the love of Christ! When I think of this, I am humbled, my worries and depression melt away because they can not hold up to the majesty of God. He takes hold of my thoughts.. and changes them.
So, read this, and really read it. Don't just say, "Oh, yeah, a Bible verse. Uh huh, moving on." Stop. Breathe. Read this verse. Think on it.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
-Philippians 4:8
I hope this small clip from God's Word, the Bible, helps you, reminds you of Him. Especially if you recognize yourself in the same funk I was in. This is God's Word.
Is He not marvelous?!!
