I need you to start saying "Go get 'em, Tiger" instead of treating me like I'm incompetent.
Ladies (Gentlemen, if there is error in my thinking, I need to know),
Did your mama teach you how to show confidence in your men (dad, bothers, brothers-in-law, cousins, uncles, grandfathers, future husband, etc)? If your growing up experience was like mine, the answer is yes..and no. And really not enough.
I try to say, "Do you want this _(insert unnecessary, though potentially handy item)_ just in case...?" and "Would you rather _(again, insert likely unnecessary item or idea, and very possibly something he can't actually do because of outside restrictions)_ ...?" and the like. I hardly ever say outright that I believe the best of them.
Ladies, your men don't want to be namby-pambied. It's not helpful. Do they want your love? Sure. But, believe it or not, they may just well prefer your respect. They don't want you to baby them by trying to take care of every little detail. They want to be
men, strong, capable, the supporters and providers. Let them. Build them up for that, but don't think you're making them that on your own. They want to know you trust them to handle things, to be intelligent and think things through, to do the best they can, and to take care of you and others.
Historically and traditionally, the men fought the wars and battles. This is not discrimination against women nor should it be offensive. Ladies, face it, we are physically (and mentally) formed differently than men. This is actually something to be happy about as it is a reflection of God's creativity, diversity, and desire to display different aspects of His glory with prominence. Men have the bigger and stronger muscles. They have more testosterone! They enjoy being strong more than they enjoy being pretty. Adam was formed with a purpose in mind. So was Eve, but her purpose was different than Adam's even though they shared as equal partners in life as a married couple and as God's children.
So, ladies, let your men keep their man roles. And let them know you know they have what it takes.
And think about this, too. Confidence in your men, if thought appropriately, is really confidence in God. Read
Ephesians 5:21-33. Did you see it? Did you notice specifically verse 22? What did it say again? "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord" (New International Version). That's more like what I'm used to seeing, and I think it is often taken as "you must always do exactly what he says." But The Message translation put the same verse in a way that I thought was pretty helpful:
"Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ." God is in control. Do you agree? And He raises up His children in His image for His purposes and His glory. And He has
promised to take care of His children. Now, that doesn't always mean what we think it should, but God never promised us that we would make it through life without suffering (really, why do we even think that? do we not know the stories of Joseph, Job, David was persecuted by his own son, the apostles were persecuted and martyred for Christ, and, oh yeah, Christ hung on the cross and suffered hell).
But if we trust God, really trust Him, we will trust Him with our men. We may not always like what happens, but we have to remember that God wants His name to be glorified throughout the earth, and He is not inactive. He is at work to accomplish His goal, and He uses the entire world (which, He created; He has every right to do so) to bring it about. Our men are a part of God's plan, and we, ladies, can not control it (nor should we want to, but that is a heart matter that can be worked through only by His grace).
Do you have respect for and confidence in your men? Better yet, do you have respect for and confidence in the Father?
