Is "it can always be worse than it is" a positive way to approach a friend (or yourself) in a hard time? Is it helpful and good? Is it discouraging and convicting to others when they just can't feel happy but think they should be more grateful because they know in their heads that the statement is true?
How does it fall with this?
How should such a thing be approached? And how can it differ depending on the person?
I find that when I am truly having a hard time, suggesting that I am in the wrong for feeling bad/sad/frustrated by the situation only piles guilt on top of everything else. "It could always be worse" belittles what I'm feeling.
ReplyDeleteI personally find "This too shall pass" much more helpful and kind. I also know in my head that that one is true, but it's more comforting because it accepts that what is happening now is bad and worth being upset about, while reminding me that I won't be sad forever.
My dad always tells me that, and it is always very discouraging. It de-legitimates my emotions, saying that it is not good for me to have the, and that I need to suck it up, or I'm doing something wrong. If the friend is stewing/dwelling/brooding about the situation, I think a "whatever is true..." approach is a great way to go, provided it's given in encouragement rather than admonishment (in my opinion). Emotions happen. It is not okay to camp there, but it is okay to have them. It helps to get it out (some people just need to articulate, I think), and give it over to God. If the person won't look to God in the end, nothing we could say will make them!
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