Never Mind the Funk. Go Swing!

What I said about bein' down in the dumps early this semester.. well, it was true, but no longer!

This is my favorite semester so far (um.. out of, like 4..counting this one)! I get to take some fun classes (Writing! and guitar!) and some classes that aren't alltogether too bad. ;-)

And, I'm thiiiiiiss close to deciding both my four year college and major! Yeeehaw!
Anywhos, God is great and He is giving me direction. At first, I really balked at the idea, but it's looking like His way is, after all, the best way. Shocker.

Don't just hang in there; Turn to HIM!!

@~,~~~

Depressed Already???

Or just moody?

I don't know, but even though it's only the second week of school, I just seem to be in a funk. Again. Like the funk I reach after 10-12 weeks of school.

Can I blame it on the weather? (I don't think so.) My school load? Maybe it's a contributor, but the main reason? Ehh. Could it be a cumulative effect hanging around from last semester? That this semester seems more like a continuation from the previous one, and the break in between wasn't enough (or I didn't use it properly)? Possibly. It could also be that I just have a lot to do and a lot that's going on right now; even more than I'm used to from lately. Maybe. I think a large part of it is, as always, a lack of connection. The weird part is I actually have more connection to people from church, both on Sundays and on other days, than I had before.

Do I just have a bad attitude about going to school? Is it really that depressing that I don't have friends in my classes? That I don't see the friends I have when I'm on campus?

I have more questions than I do answers. It just seems that things aren't right, whatever the problem really is, or I'm just way too picky.

Life isn't that bad. I know it's not. Every morning, I wake up, the sky is beautiful, God is on His throne, and the day's work awaits me. I have family, I have friends, I have tasks, and I have breaks. That's not bad. So, maybe this is just an artificial, temporary sadness that has no basis.


I don't know. I just wanted to write this out, my thoughts, my feelings, my worries. Here is where I chose to write it (don't ask me why). But it still amazes me how I can start to feel better, even before this is posted, just by putting my thoughts into the written word instead of only bouncing around inside my head. Maybe it relieves the pressure from inside my brain. After all, I'm filling it up at school, right? It might just get to the point that it has too much inside it at a given time.

I need the Gospel. I need to hear it. I need to read it. I need to proclaim it. It's not a magical chant that makes me feel better, but it is the Good News of life. A written testimony that Christ loves His church, enough not only to die for her, but to raise again and conquer death and sin. And to think that He chose me to be a part of the church, His bride. You think about that. I hope it amazes you and comforts you as it does me. Brothers and sisters, we need to hear the gospel each and every day! We need to tell ourselves the good news! We need to uplift our Christian family by reminding them of the love of Christ! When I think of this, I am humbled, my worries and depression melt away because they can not hold up to the majesty of God. He takes hold of my thoughts.. and changes them.
So, read this, and really read it. Don't just say, "Oh, yeah, a Bible verse. Uh huh, moving on." Stop. Breathe. Read this verse. Think on it.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
-Philippians 4:8

I hope this small clip from God's Word, the Bible, helps you, reminds you of Him. Especially if you recognize yourself in the same funk I was in. This is God's Word.
Is He not marvelous?!!

Mele Kalikimaka!

Well, I just had to put a little post up here before Christmas.

I never would have thought this year would nearly be over so fast. Some things drag on while others zip by.
It's been a great, and a hard, year...
... But you already know that. So I'll just leave a simple wish for you, my few and special readers: May your days be merry and bright, and may your Christmas this year be peaceful.


O come all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
Come and behold Him,
Born the King of Angels;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

Sing, choirs of angels,
Sing in exultation,
O sing all ye citizens of heaven above
Glory to God, glory in the Highest
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

Yea, Lord, we greet Thee,
Born this happy morning,
O Jesus! to Thee all glory given.
Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O Come, Let Us Adore HIM,
CHRIST THE LORD!


Mele kalikimaka!

1 year and 7 days ago...

I was just looking at a post I wrote 1 year (and seven days) ago. "What do you want to learn?"
Now, at the turn of yet another semester and enrollment for the spring semester, I think it's time to update that list. Here goes:

My old list entailed -- clay pottery, guitar, photography, some form of self defense, how to play the Bodhrán drum, ballroom dancing with flair, story writing skills, Irish language, Hawaiian (Polynesian) language, the hula, and the care, keeping, and training of homing pidgeons.

I think, for my new list I shall start with -- Guitar! (it is my therapy for any time); Spanish (I'm being challenged and having fun in my language class this semester and I'm enrolled in more for next semester); photography, sure; um, and writing, yup; dancing, dancing, dancing, pretty much always valid; yes, Irish and Hawaiian languages (but I'll stick to tackling Spanish for now); um, okay, I'll just say the same old list and see what I can add to it :-P
. . .
Hmm.. maybe this is why I'm having a hard time finding a class(es) to fill that last 3 credit hours I need for next semester... I can't think of what I want to learn, and what I can think of isn't all offered as college classes...
Persisting in my quest for things I want to learn . . .

Better Comedy? How to come up with my own material and line delivery and timing... Improved Juggling Skills. I never did get as far as juggling pins...
Um, I'll have to continue this later. I'm being really stupid right now being up at this time.. I have a test in the morning! How did the time get away from me?!!! oi

learn better time management???

What do you want to learn?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update on December 3rd, 2007

I should add rock climbing and repelling (off of cliffs, not people) to my list of things I want to learn.

I think I came up with one or two other things, but I can't remember them right now, so.. until then or my next post!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Is My Swing of Things? What's Yours?

I don't mean to be distant. I don't mean to seperate myself from others.
Or do I?

Sometimes all I want to do is get away from people asking me questions. But at the same time, I want my friends, acting normally, to talk with me and spend time with me.
But I'm always busy. Get up, get going, school, home, lunch, homework with housework, helping work (odds and ends tidbits that occur all the time and take an amazingly long amount of time when they shouldn't), more homework, and housework, a too-long nap (I need it), dinner and unwinding with the TV, get ready for bed, go to bed, day's over, repeat cycle.

I realize that's actually pretty close to what it is for a lot of people, but it seems I can't handle it as well as others. What's your secret? I find myself drifting away from people and I'm not sure what to do. How to better manage my time? Is that possible at this point in life? Do I just need to keep going to find the "swing of things" and find the pattern of this part of life?

Reading Lists

This summer, I have read (including finishing books I'd previously started):

Another Chance to Love You
Black Beauty
Den of the White Fox
Eragon
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Knights of the Old Republic: Vol 1 (comic book)
Knights of the Old Republic: Vol 2 (comic book)
Origin (graphic novel/comic book)
Robin Hood
The Shepherd's Voice
Sisterchicks do the Hula
Ties that Bind, Ties that Break

I am currently reading: All-American Girl by Meg Cabot


What was your reading list this summer? What books do you still want to read?


~This is just something I'm posting for fun. Earlier I mentioned I was reading 5 novels this summer in my post "I love summer." Now that summer is 'over' (school starts on Monday), it's time to post the list. Please still look at the previous post "How would you like your change?" It is something that is important to me. I would appreciate thoughts and comments on it.~

How would you like your change?

Life is full of change. You can't stop it. Some change is wonderful, some change is bad, some is inbetween.

I've been thinking about some major changes lately. It occurred to me that I could finish an associates degree and be going to a four year university this time next year. With the places I'm looking at, that would most definately mean a big change of living location for me. Weird, huh?

That's not the only change I've been thinking about. This semester I'll have a friend on campus, yes, for the first time really; I'm hoping to have two friends on campus next semester, even better if we had a class together. My small group Bible study is changing. We're dividing the group, in essence. It will really be a small, small group. We'll have a new leader, too. This change will likely be very good, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

Change is all around me right now. Sometimes I'm sad, other times I don't know where to fit in. It's all really strange for me. Change is a part of growing.. but even growing, a very good thing, has growing pains sometimes.

Where have you noticed your life changing? Where do you see it going? Are we in the same picture, or do we travel different paths that distance us?
Are you having as hard of a time with change as I am? (Even though it is extremely exciting at times, I admit.)

An Ache in My Heart

I've been sad lately. A friend of mine that I graduated with is going through a tough time. Her father went home to be with the Lord recently. I hadn't seen or talked to my friend in a little over a year until recently, and I had never met her dad, but it makes me really sad. Though my death will hold no sting for myself, I hate death. It hurts.

Please, if you think of it, pray for my friend and her family.
We sang "Be Still, My Soul" in worship service today. It touched my aching heart. May the Lord, our Caregiver, use it to touch you today as well.


1.Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side;
bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
leave to your God to order and provide;
in ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heav'nly Friend
through thorny ways leads to joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
to guide the future as he has the past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
and all is darkened in the vale of tears,
then shall you better know his love, his heart,
who comes to soothe your sorrow and your fears.
Be still, my soul: your Jesus can repay
from his own fullness all he takes away.

4. Be still, my soul: the hour is hasn'tning on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

I love summer

Don't you?
Let's get together and do something! :-D

Or I could just go back to reading my 5 novels...

Write-O-Rama!

Why does it bother me so much to have papers with marks on them? Papers I've turned in for class that come back with corrections and a grade.

I keep getting frustrated when I get my papers for English class back. Today, I finally wondered why.

I think it's because writing is kinda dear to me. Yes, I do hope to publish a novel (or two) some day, whether it's the "Great American Novel" or not, just as long as it's published. I enjoy writing; I get comfortable in front of my laptop and write fiction for my own enjoyment. I'm not grading it. It doesn't have to be fantabulous. It makes me happy. It makes me happy just to be writing it. I can let my creative juices flow, in my personal, unjudged by people, myself time.

So, why would that effect getting papers graded for class? Perhaps because the grade, the marks of correction mean my writing is not acceptable. It is imperfect. It is being judged, not mearly enjoyed. It's not supportive marks, just marks. Not marks made by a best friend who is honest with the mistakes but genuinly wants the best I can do and shows me which direction to go. The hardest part may be when I cannot see a reason for some of the marks. They are just there, and I believe the correction marks are wrong. That is extremely frustrating. Especially when it happens every paper. Every paper I think there is at least one mark that is incorrect and, therefore, should not count against me.

Should I let it bother me so much? Most likely no. The theory behind the class is to learn and improve my writing. It doesn't much feel like that's happening, but perhaps it is. Perhaps it is.

Is Time Visual?

Think about it. We measure time. Clocks' seconds hands tick away, moving the minutes hand, slowly moving the hours hand. We can see the effects of time: flowers blooming, grass changing, children growing, buildings deterioriating. All these things happen over time. We use time in games; sometimes holding our breath as we watch the last seconds of a football or basketball (or volleyball :D) game.

Usually we might think of time as similar to wind. We can't see it, but we can see it happens. But have you ever been outside and it seemed like you could almost see the wind? Actually see it (almost). If we can measure it, if we can see it's effects, can we see it?

I'm not saying time really is visual. I don't know. But it's thinking about things in completely new ways that leads to fascinating discoveries previously thought not possible.

So what do you think? Could time actually be visual?

::cue music:: "I'm free to do what I want, any old time."

I am likely to be internet-free or internet-less over spring break (and maybe starting a bit before then). I have lots going on, and I want to spend the time that is unscheduled wisely.

I still have Joel's response in the works as well as a review on the movie "The Devil Wears Prada". I'm hoping to post those before ya'll grow old and your hair turns white. So far, it's not workin'. ;-)


So, everyone, have a great spring break! I'll talk to ya later!

Just a quick side note

What is it with college textbooks? First my music book, now my math book of all books. Why do they feel the need to put a picture of the statue of David in there? I suppose they want to share their "art", but no thanks. I don't want to see that. If I wanted to see a naked man, I think I'd get married. I feel doomed to have at least one picture of David every semester now. This is not a happy feeling. Last semester I gave David a square, white piece of thick paper. This semster I made him a barrel to be covered with. Granted, that's partly for humor, but honestly, I really do not want to see that picture.

Textbook writers, designers, and editors everywhere, Stop it!

An Awfully Big Adventure

*sigh* Another 16 week adventure is coming. One spring semester, comin’ right up!

How will this adventure play out? The last one went OK. It wasn’t always easy or fun, but I think I learned, both school material and other. Now I know the layout of the school, so that might make the first day a bit easier. I remember, my first day, I followed the map looking for my music class. The signs that occasionally hang from the ceiling were a little misleading; I passed the room twice in the next hallway before I realized where exactly I had missed my turn. That was slightly amusing (but at the same time I was concerned to get to my class on time). I soon discovered my music teacher reminded me of Doug. Similar voice, tall, slim. Kinda weird. Kinda made me miss Doug. I was really looking forward to RUF to start.

Heh, Dr. Phil is on the radio, telling people it’s okay to be nervous/concerned/etc. whatever about the unknown. “But it’s also okay to believe in yourself.” (or something like that)

I don’t know about concerned, but... anticipating would fit. I’m anticipating the new semester. I’ll have different classes, teachers, classrooms, books (one of them is a really ugly yellow and another feels like it weighs well over 5 pounds by itself), and different things expected of me. Some things that will stay the same are my class time schedule, RUF on Wednesdays, Church, staying home.

But what will it be like? Will I have good teachers? Will my homework bury me every day?(I really, really hope not) Who will I meet? Will I make any lasting friends? Or any friends at school? What will RUF be like? (refreshing? challenging? uncomfortable? a blast?) How will this semester cause me to grow? (academically? spiritually? in maturity?) Will I perhaps get a step closer to being ready to live in a dorm away from home? (if so, will I want to? would that be a wise choice? even if I can come home every weekend?)

So many questions. I don’t have the answers. I don’t have to. Deuteronomy 29:29 says, “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.” (New King James) I’m gonna start carrying that keychain. It’s a helpful verse. Wow, is that refreshing to read. Yep, definitely gonna start using that one again.

Have a blessed day!

Life in the little city.

Life... In the little city of Moore, life goes on. People get up and go to work, whether they like it or not, and do the best they can.
Life... In my house, life goes on.

I like it here. I really do. Life is complicated enough (sometimes too much), and mostly comfortable. School is out until the 22nd, which grants me a little more time to find my books for less cost and order them, as well as grants me time to relax, clean, play my guitar (a lovely gift that I really like), make pretty thank you cards and keep an unsaid resolution to not be terrible in sending those this year (I have that one every year), and take care of my room and other things that I have not done and have not been able to do for awhile. I even like my school. I have nothing against learning (it's usually the tests I don't like), and I'm somewhat excited about my nutrition class. I think (hope) it'll be interesting without making me feel horrible for every candy I eat and every vegitable that I don't eat with my meals.

Yet, even though I like the comfortable country and home of Oklahoma, I appreciate my family and friends and church family, this is the time of year I seem to find myself wishing I could be on a tropical island. Specifically, one of six. I want to go to Hawai`i.

I long for a quiet day, the sun is bright and warm, the breeze is soft and cool, the ocean sings to me, and the hammok I lay in gently rocks me.

You may have noticed the title of my blog. Yes, it's Hawaiian. I want to learn the language, the dance, to be in the culture, to explore, and be amazed at the diversity of God's creation. Some day, I hope it's in God's will, I want to go to Hawai`i.

No Room

"No room. Only a manger of hay. No room. He is a stranger today. No room. Here and His world turned away. No room. No room."

"Lonely" might be a better title for this post. I've been feeling lonely lately. Since about the 10th week or so of school. I really haven't made any new friends, and I see people I'm close to once (maybe twice) a week, and only for a litte while. It's my own fault. When school started I was mostly just focusing on school when I was at campus. I don't like to have lunch there if I don't have to (which is most of the time, thankfully), and though I've made some aqquaintances, they're not exactly friends. I know, might seem a bit picky to define a difference, but there you go. RUF ended last night for the semester. But then, the semester ends next week.

I'm gonna go get lunch, but I just thought I'd put this out there for you folks who I know and read this. If I've seemed a bit down for no reason, now you know why. If I've pushed you away, please let me know so I can apologize.

If you've been a bit down and I didn't notice, I'm sorry. Please tell me. We can talk to each other.

In sociology class this past week we watched a video about religion and how it is cultural and affects cultures. One of the images in the video was a statue (I think it looked sorta like a buddha) and singing coming from people who were off camera. I have no idea what words the people were singing, as it was not in English, but it was very pretty sounding. It had nice harmony and rhythm.

This scene made me really sad. I didn't cry, but it's the saddest I've felt in sociology class. These people were singing beautifully to a false god in worship. This god would not save them from anything. It's a statue. Their works of worship to this statue would not get them into heaven, or have a better reincarnation, or anything.

There were other simmilar scenes, but none that made me as sad as this one.

this is funny

Disorder RatingParanoid: LowSchizoid: LowSchizotypal: LowAntisocial: LowBorderline: LowHistrionic: LowNarcissistic: ModerateAvoidant: ModerateDependent: ModerateObsessive-Compulsive: High
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mvURL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

What do you want to learn?

kudos to Norman for watching Accepted and writing about it. (That was the credit where credit is due sentence so I won't be called for plagiarism.)

I want to learn or better understand (in progress):
clay pottery, guitar, photography, some form of self defense, how to play the Bodhrán drum, ballroom dancing with flair, story writing skills, Irish language, Hawaiian (Polynesian) language

What about you? What do you want to learn?

Daughter of the King

In my guestbook from graduation, one of my friends wrote, "You are a...daughter of the King." Hmm. That was a very nice thing to write.

King of kings, and Lord of lords. That's more than just song lyrics. Those song lyrics are truth. And how amazing they are. This King, the King of kings, even though He had a Child that He was perfectly pleased with, and had no need for anyone else, He adopted select people to be his children. He adopted me. And it wasn't because I had done something wonderful, either. Not only was I not alive when he adopted me, but I had already sinned against him in Adam. He chose me. Why? Oh, why I don't know.

I should always be grateful. Unfortunately, I'm never as grateful as I should be, and I'm never grateful as often as I should be. Yet He still loves me and calls me His child. He calls me daughter.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed
us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he
chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and
blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption through Jesus
Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious
grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption
through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of
His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to
us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in
Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in
heaven and things on earth.

In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according
to the purpose of Him Who works all things according to the counsel of His will,
so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of His
glory. In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your
salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, Who
is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the
praise of His glory.

Ephesians 1:3-14